


The Letter

by orphan_account



Series: Jeremwood Oneshots [29]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst, FAHC, Fake AH Crew, Gen, M/M, Pain, battle buddies, jeremwood, this is what happens when you’re sad at 3am
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:34:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21846004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The paper felt heavy in his hand as he finished writing the final word.
Relationships: Battle Buddies - Relationship, Ryan Haywood/Jeremy Dooley
Series: Jeremwood Oneshots [29]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/611044
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	The Letter

Ryan sighed sadly as he glanced over the note he’d just finished writing, for once his penmanship decent. He snorted at that and after scanning over the words, nodded and gently folded the piece of paper and slid it into a white envelope, licking the seal and smoothing the ends together, leaving the front of the card blank. He stood and cast a glance around the room, one final sweep before walking to the door and slowly leaving, taking the note to the table in the dining room and propping it gently against the bowl of fruit there.

The penthouse was silent for once, a rare night when the rest of the crew was asleep all at once. Well, most of them anyway.

Ryan slowly made his way to the door and quietly opened it, looking back with a sad expression on his face as he gazed about the room, memories of good times flooding his mind, causing his heart to ache already, tears pricking his eyes. Taking a deep, calming breath he stepped out into the hall and closed the door behind him for the last time.

He wasn’t sure why he walked so slowly, time wasn’t exactly working in his favor, but something was trying to keep him here, some unseen force. He hung his head and let his shoulders droop as he made his way down to the parking garage, trudging over to his jet-black Akuma and climbing on, wheeling the bike out the garage door quietly.

Once out on the street he looked up at the penthouse again and imagined the crew sleeping peacefully, and smiled slightly.

“This is for the best,” he muttered before firing up the bike and taking off, speeding through traffic at dizzyingly breakneck speeds, making his way to one last stop.

He wasn’t sure why he felt the urge to stop here, on this hill by the tree that overlooked a good portion of the city. It had been a favorite spot of his during his years with the crew, many memories made here, some good while others were painful. And now, one more painful event to add to those memories. He stood and looked out over the city he’d helped rule for so many years. He remembered standing here on his first day in Los Santos, gazing at the city and smiling at the promise it held for him. He remembered all those years ago when he’d been approached by a younger Geoff, the man terrified but determined. That really was what sealed the deal for him back then, not the promise of power or money, though those did help. No, it was the fact that this man, this simple man, dared to look him directly in the eye and offer him a job, despite his reputation he’d already built up, despite being scared shitless. Ryan had admired that and agreed, a decision now as he looked back was the best one he’d ever made.

He clenched his hands into fists and squeezed his eyes shut, fighting back the tears.

He remembered Jack being the first one to see him without a mask, taking the risk in order to save his life from an injury during a job gone wrong. Jack had pulled him out of more close calls than he could count, the large man more like a protective mom than a friend, offering counsel whenever it was needed and always being the voice of reason. It was Jack that had first made him feel safe letting his guard down around the crew. Jack had helped him see that being himself wasn’t a bad thing and that he was safe to be who he was.

Michael had been the first one to challenge him, the kid from Jersey either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid for getting right up into Ryan’s face and calling him on some shit or other he’d done, Ryan being blown away that someone would actually take the risk. The two had bonded after that and their friendship grew with each explosion they orchestrated, every amount of chaos bringing them closer. Michael was the one who always kept him accountable, calling him out and keeping him in the right no matter what, a feat Ryan greatly admired and appreciated.

Gavin had been terrified of him at first, the young lad hiding or avoiding Ryan for a month, a fact that hurt Ryan but he knew that he’d deserved it based on his reputation and overall creepiness. After Gavin started getting more comfortable with Ryan he couldn’t keep his mouth shut. Gavin has been the first one to try to really get to know Ryan through an endless stream of ridiculous scenarios and questions. Gavin was always willing to help him find targets or points of interest, the lad playfully flirting with the masked killer for years in good-hearted fun, Ryan eventually playing back on occasion. Gavin had been the first one that made an effort to try to get to know Ryan, the real Ryan and not just the Vagabond.

And then there was Jeremy...

Ryan let out a strangled sob as the lad flashed before his eyes.

“I’m sorry it had to be this way. But believe me when I say, it’s for the best,” he sputtered and cleared his throat as it tightened with the sadness choking him.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a motor and his heart stopped. Glancing behind him he noticed a small figure on a bright purple and orange Shotaro zipping towards him.

“Shit, I thought I had more time.”

He kept his back to the bike as it approached, the sounds of heavy, angry footfalls reaching his ears and getting louder as the figure approached. The footsteps stopped a pace or two behind him and he could practically feel the anger wafting off the person standing behind him.

“Jer.”

“Don’t you FUCKING ‘Jer’ me James Ryan Haywood!” Jeremy snarled, causing Ryan to flinch. The sounds of paper being ruffled and unfolded reached his ears and he bit his lip, knowing what was about to happen.

“‘ _Dear Crew, By the time you read this it’ll be too late to change anything, I regret to inform you that as of today this is the end of the road for me. Know this decision wasn’t made lightly, but has been at the back of my mind for a couple of years now. I hold no hostility towards any of you and wish that you preserve the good times we’ve had together as your memory of me. I’m sorry this happened but it’s for the better, it’s for your own good that I not be around any more. If I have done wrong to any of you I haven’t already made amends for I sincerely apologize for any pain I have caused you. I love you all dearly and promise I will never forget you. Maybe some day we’ll all see each other again, maybe I’ll come back. Yours truly, Vagabond_ ’ WHAT THE FUCK RYAN?!?!!!” Jeremy nearly screamed after reading the letter Ryan had left behind angrily out loud.

“You weren’t supposed to see that til later,” Ryan weakly muttered.

“Fuck you Haywood! How fucking DARE you pull a stunt like this! How could you do this? To the crew, to your family, to me?!” Jeremy’s anger was tinged with sadness and betrayal and it caused Ryan to flinch again.

“Like I said, it’s better if I’m not around anymore. I need to do this Jeremy,” his voice sounded shaky.

“I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO KILL YOURSELF RYAN!! Why would you do this?! Why the hell do you think abandoning us is in any way, shape, or fucking form gonna help us?!” Jeremy spat back. Ryan remained silent. “ANSWER ME!”

“Because I can’t lose any of you and all I do it hurt you!! I can’t see you get hurt anymore!” Ryan roared and whirled around to face the lad, tears in his eyes and he glared down at the man he’d grown the closest to.

Jeremy was the one who instantly clicked with him, who instantly got him. It was like two peas in a pod or a matching pair of gloves. Jeremy had been the one who’d shown him that there was still joy in life, had given him a reason to keep living when he’d gone to a dark place. Jeremy was his light, his saving grace. His Battle Buddy.

“What do you mean?” the lad asked, eyes wide now, confusion on his face. Ryan sighed.

“I need to leave. This isn’t about you or the crew it’s about me. Me being this dangerous, broken, evil person who only brings death. I can’t watch you get hurt, not you,” he spoke, voice cracking slightly.

“Ryan, you’re hurting me right now.”

Ryan looked up quickly, concern on his face as he met the tear-filled eyes of his best friend, tears streaming down his cheeks. He was suddenly struck by how old Jeremy seemed to be in that moment, the entire scene hurting him at his core. Slowly he stepped forward and cupped the lad’s face in his hands, and brought his face down until the two were kissing softly. He pulled away and smiled sadly as he wiped the tears away from Jeremy’s cheeks with his thumbs.

“I love you, more than anything. That’s why I need to leave. I can’t be who you need me to be right now, I have to do this,” he said softly.

“Please, don’t leave me. Battle Buddies forever remember?” Jeremy sobbed, knowing Ryan was about to step out of his life, maybe forever.

“I have to Jer. I hate who I am, I can’t live with myself knowing everything I’ve done, all the people I’ve killed or hurt. I need to rectify this somehow and I can’t do it in the City of Sin,” Ryan said softly and smiled sadly.

“Then take me with you! I can’t live without you by my side, Ry! I can’t go on without you. You can’t have the Battle Buddies with just one buddy,” Jeremy was crying again and it tore Ryan apart.

“I’m sorry Jeremy, I have to do this alone,” he said and pressed a soft kiss to the lad’s cheek before pulling away and hugging Jeremy tightly.

“I’ll never forget you,” he bit back the sob clawing at his throat.

“Ryan, please,” Jeremy sobbed as he clung to the taller man, fisting his hands in the front of Ryan’s shirt.

“I love you,” Ryan whispered and pressed another kiss to the top of Jeremy’s bald head.

“I love you too!”

Slowly Ryan pride himself away from Jeremy, making his way down to his Akuma, starting the engine and giving Jeremy one last look before turning and driving off as fast as he could, trying to get as far away before he started sobbing.

Jeremy fell to his knees, sobbing and crying harder than he’d ever cried in his life, clutching Ryan’s note to his chest as he rocked back and forth, his heart shattered and destroyed as he watched his best friend, the man he’d fallen in love with, vanish over the horizon.

“Ryan!” he screamed to the heavens, pain all he felt as he sat alone on a hill overlooking the city.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is what happens when you’re sad at 3am and remember you haven’t written any angst in awhile.


End file.
